I used to joke with a friend that we should start a business selling rulers that were inaccurate so that there was about 1/2 to 3/4 inch between the inch marks. We could have been rich

No but if you’re looking to sell it, I need to do some measuring that it would be perfect for

Don’t judge those who can’t afford Axe Body Spray

Probably. I don’t remember what that exact fragment came from. I was using apocryphal, maybe wrongly, to mean non-canonical

The Bible doesn’t say anything about Jesus’ sexuality, let alone preferences. In fact what it does say could lead you to virtually any conclusion.

First, there is zero evidence that Mary was a prostitute as mentioned elsewhere. She was just a follower of Jesus. Biblical scholar Bart Ehrman tells about a fragment of a manuscript of an apocryphal gospel that says “Jesus loved Mary and used to kiss her on the…” and that’s where the fragment is broken off. Our dirty little imaginations could come up with anything to finish that sentence but the lost part probably says something stupid like “forehead.”

There was “the diciple that Jesus loved” who is once mentioned sleeping on Jesus’ busom. The diciple isn’t identified but the disciples were supposedly all men.

When he was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, a naked boy was seen running away.

So, we can draw any conclusion we want. The clear answer is probably boobs because he was really into missionary stuff.

This is not true. He died of complications following a botched at-home fecal transplant

I would think Russia would circulate this to them

But to North Koreans he must sound like a hero

Real Jim Carrey retirement vibe here!

I remember thinking radio stations had bands constantly coming in and playing songs and leaving

Growing up, we had a neighbor in the Air national guard who was a boom operator on KC-135 refuelers, meaning he controlled the boom that comes out the back of the airplane and transfers fuel to other aircraft. The boom operator lays face down on a bench and looks out a window in the back of the plane to control the boom.

When I learned that they “operate on their belly”, I somehow interpreted that to mean he performed medical operations on people’s bellies.

It didn’t even make sense to me at the time but I figured there must be some special reason that the operation had to be done while airborne and I was impressed that our neighbor was not only a doctor but an airborne surgeon who specialized in this one belly surgery that couldn’t be done on the ground.

Making way for Dog The Bounty Hunter to be nominated

Almost everyone using Linux installed it. Almost no one using Windows installed it.

Hulk Hogan and Dog The Bounty Hunter are going to be Co-Directors of National Intelligence

While this is one of the most sober analysis about anything you’ll see out of a fox news personality, he still couldn’t quite get through it without telling a lie or two about Joe Biden.

We abandon it because I’m tired of that Scaramucci guy being in the media as an expert on Trump. I don’t even watch TV but I’ve seen so many articles about Trump and when I click them it turns out to be something Scaramucci said on cable news the night before. Why the fuck would I want to hear from that guy?

Sounds like a member of Congress getting ready to leak the report and blame it on hackers

Everybody except Junior has two entrees? I don’t go to McDonald’s much but I’ve never in my life seen anyone order two entrees.

This is such a funny dream. It would be really funny if I wake up and this turns out to be true

It’s a civilian job and most SecDefs weren’t generals. A lot weren’t even in the military. They tend to not be foxnews fuckwits though.