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Ghosts are caused by Chuck Norris terminating someone faster than the universe can process it.

Gonna try to remember to come back to this in a few hours. Gotta few. If someone wants to respond to this to remind me if I don’t post by tomorrow, that’d be cool. (Will lemmy ever get a remind me bot?)

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Here’s my ghost story.
So back in 2012 my parents bought an old house. The house was hand built by the owner in about 1930. The guy sold them the house because he was getting pretty old, and his family was scheduling to move him to elder care. My dad talked to him about how the house was built, because we had plans on renovating it and wanted to know where things were placed (piping, electrical etc)

A week later we got the news that the previous owner passed away, and at the same time we started tearing down stuff.
My parents started modifying the owner’s wife’s bedroom, and that’s when the weird shit started happening.

To preface this: me, and my grandma’s bedrooms were in the basement, and my little sister’s and parents bedroom was on the 4th floor.

The first night :
I wake up because my bedroom light is on, I hear shouting from upstairs. I walk out of my bedroom and see that all of the lights are on in the corridor leading to the stairs. My grandma leaves her bedroom confused because all the lights are on. We both walk to the 2nd floor where our living room and kitchen is, both still confused why every single lamp is on. We meet our parents. They’re both very mad, because they have to go to work tomorrow, and they’re not sleeping at that moment. Both are also confused to why they got woken up by their bed side table lamps, and the ceiling lamp hanging above their bed.
Long story short: we had to go for a walk trough out the house switching off all lamps.

Dad scheduled an electrician, and a day later we found out that “a brown out could have caused this” even though all switches were physical and not electric.

A year later:
I came home from school and started doing my homework. As I remember it was kind of nice being completely alone in that house, since I got a lot of work done without interruptions.
Anyways, I was doing my homework in the kitchen until my cat sprinted down the windy stairs for the 3rd to the 2nd floor. At that moment she did not care that meant practically falling down the stairs.
Of course this caught my attention because her behavior at that moment was pretty unusual. So as I recall I started petting her, trying to get her to relax, and at that moment I heard a really loud banging noise.
I kid you not the sound is pretty similar to the pipe falling video on YouTube.
Similar, but with a faster beat, 2 to 3 bangs pr second, and that sound was fucking terrifying for my 8 year old brain.
Let’s say after that day my dad had to lead me to the bedroom because I refused being in a dark basement.

I don’t know where this last terrifying thing fits on the timeline, but i remember waking up from my sister screaming her lungs out. Apparently she was in bed, and thought dad approached her, so she turned around to face him. Nope not dad. It was the previous owner with a knife, attempting to kill her.
I assume this was some sort of sleep paralisys demon but let’s say it wasn’t fun trying to fall asleep that week.

BTW it wasn’t uncommon for us to read a book in the living room and suddenly see all the lamps swinging randomly. I assume it was just a draft, but still.

“Ah finally, I’m all alone,” I said to myself as I sat in my bedroom at midnight.

“No your not.” said Knife Guy.

Sure. You know how you have a ‘presence’ sense?

Well, one day night, I woke up and had the awareness that there was someone (or something) right next to me. I felt it very strongly, and because I was alone it freaked me out. I tried to push it away and I told it to fuck off but my hands didn’t touch anything. I rushed to turn on the light and then the feeling vanished. Only had that once in my life.

Second time, I was parked up at a remote beach making out with my gf in the back seat with two friends smoking weed in the front. The car did a lurch and I stopped and asked what was going on. Just as my mate was answering, the car lurched again. I looked outside to see if there was some prankster around, but there was no one. That’s when I started telling him we gotta get the fuck outta here now!

I don’t really think either of these count as proof of anything, but they are the only 2 unexplained events in my life.

Only time I’ve had something like this can be easily explained by a prank but it just doesn’t seem like it was.

Worked on a site that had fire damage, old student accommodation that was being demolished but needed to have all the gas appliances decommissioned and removed. The site had a security guard and the plot of land was fenced off unless security gave you access. Me and the 2 other lads I was working with were in the room with the worst fire damage, black soot up what was left of the walls, windows shattered etc.

We were just talking, when a shrill scream echoed through all the corridors. All of the hairs on my body stood on end, the three of us must’ve had the same feeling because we all ran out of that building quick as fuck and didn’t go back in. Luckily our work was done in that particular building.

I would’ve said it was probably the security guy having us on because we got along with him while we were there but I just don’t see how a guy with his voice and stature could’ve made such a loud high pitched noise, it sounded distant at first but carried as if someone was screaming in the same room as us.

Is that a picture of Marilyn Manson?