Rust is the WORST programming “language.”

1. it is against the natural order for a PROGRAM to tell the PROGRAMMER how to fix an error. Fixes should ONLY come from PROPHETIC DREAMS.
2. obfuscation should be done for FUN by PROGRAMMERS to SCARE python programmers. It should NOT be a MANDATORY feature of a language.
3. Memory leaks are a GIFT given to us by GOD. Programmers will ALWAYS PRAY TO GOD for SOLUTIONS as long as there are MEMORY LEAKS.

I must not be unsafe. Unsafe memory is the mind killer. The little leak that brings total obliteration. When I face unsafe memory, I will turn towards my inner Rust and rewrite it. When I trace the leak’s path only safety will remain.

This reads like a poem, I unironically love this

I am the Rust programmer,
I will rewrite the world in Rust.
I will rewrite the world in Rust
because the world is unsafe.
As I am the Rust programmer
I will keep writing rust
until the world is safe.
After the world is safe,
I will not rewrite it in Rust.
Because I am the Rust programmer
I will retire from programmer in Rust.

I will come to you when you are sleeping,
and I will unlock your computer
using a memory leak.
If I find javascript on your computer,
I will delete them.
Do not try to stop me,
if you try to stop me
I will do it anyways.
I am the Rust programmer,
if you program in javascript,
you will scream.

You will be sleeping
as I rewrite your computer in Rust.
You will not notice me
as I am the Rust programmer,
I am fast,
but not too fast for your computer.
I know your computer
just as it knows me.
After I rewrite your computer,
you will love your computer.
You will love your computer
because it is written in Rust,
I will do the same to all computers because
I am the Rust programmer.

I will not stop at your computer,
I will rewrite the world
because the world is unsafe.
Your brain is written in C,
your memory is unsafe.
If your brain is written in C,
you will forget what I just said.
I will rewrite your brain in Rust,
you cannot stop me from writing Rust
as I am the Rust programmer.
If you try to stop me,
you will not remember it.
Because I am the Rust programmer I can
manually remove your memory,
you will not remember me.
After I rewrite you in Rust,
you will enjoy the world
with a safe memory,
you will not forget
that I am superior,
I am the Rust programmer.

I will rewrite the world,
I will rewrite quantum mechanics
because it is unsafe.
I will not tell you all my plans
before I rewrite you in Rust,
It is because you are made of bugs
I do not trust you.
I am the Rust programmer,
I will rewrite the world in Rust,
you will not forget me
Because I am the Rust programmer.

(n.b. I’m bad at scansion, forgive any poor line break choices)

The world shall be… Rusty.

I am the nogrammer. I do not program. I prompt chatgpt to write my code for me. This takes care of my programming needs.

Implement Prolog in Rust. 🙏

or you know…use valgrind and lots of lots of tests to be ~%85 safe

best programmer humor post of the year

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I don’t know Rust, but I know English. Anyone knows any good English programming tutorial?

Let the Rust, the only deity, the only faith, guide us to our destiny. Amen.

Gives me the computer toucher energy is this similar?

Is that for … Job security?