How did you get into my private elevator? SECURITY!

We are all above him.

The Terror is marvelous. If you’re thinking of buying Paul Tremblay’s short story collection, don’t. It’s dire from start to finish, full of half-thought stories and stories that seem to have no point.

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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When people say ‘like’ constantly between sentences or sentence fragments or before every adjective.

I rescued an injured bird (a collared dove) with a broken wing and took him to a bird sanctuary about 40 miles away. So 10, clearly.

Absolute Balderdash. The funniest of all board games.

I go on Pirate Bay, search through new uploads, then check their videos on YouTube. Found plenty of gems I’d otherwise not have encountered. Also on LastFM. Type an artist you like and it will suggest similar artists.

Depends how you define close.

Yeah, it has to be easily portable so he can go to his friends.

Is this a US thing? Do you not get paid for your lunch hour? That’s wild.

Santa Steps Out was wild.

'Sex, Death, and Santa Claus

His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten?

She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north?

He’s huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another?

Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux’

Absolute Balderdash. It’s the most replayable and funniest board game with a crowd. I’ve hurt my ribs many times through laughing too much.

I’m 42 and my uni debt was about 15k GBP, down to a couple of grand now as I’ve just been paying interest until the last 5 years when I landed a good job and started clearing it. Out of interest, what was the amount you owed in your country when you finished, and what do you owe now at your current age?

Absolute piss. My 8 year old bought some and I tried it. It’s like they tried to make it taste awful.

I haven’t turned off my laptop in close to 10 years. I just flip the screen and it’s good to go tomorrow. A marvellous workhorse.

Some guy who got a load of wire wrapped around his rear wheels and the car just sat up on its rear end like it was standing to attention.

Mares Tail. An absolute nightmare to get rid of.

I’d be an awful person if I didn’t like my family more than my job. Yeah, I’d love a better split of work and home time, but it is what it is. I’m home by 5.30pm or earlier every weekday, so there’s evenings and weekends for family time, but we couldn’t do things if I didn’t have a job that pays well.