Only for attack rolls. Ability checks and saves do not crit fail (or succeed) and reliable talent treats rolls for ability checks that add proficiency bonus as 10 at the lowest regardless, so even if a 1 were a crit fail, it wouldn’t matter.

Look at Mr. Fatcat over here eating out while we’re on the verge of a recession.

Fuck, ain’t that the truth?

Damn corporate shrinkflating Charlie’s head on us.

“Please, Trump, stop winning.”

Astounding that he actually managed to deliver on that promise.

Every time I go south I wonder how people down there are still alive. Between the sweet tea, biscuits and gravy, pork cracklings, boudin, and kolaches, I feel like I have to take a nap whenever I eat a meal.

…Is the ‘harsh wake-up call’ that they need to look for a better employer? Asking for your employees to push themselves harder is what we in the business call “Whining.”

It’s worth noting that “Encounter” doesn’t necessarily mean “Combat,” but the 6-8 encounter day is definitely bullshit. I think that framework is held over from very early releases, and if you want an idea of what a 6-8 encounter day would actually play like, Tyranny of Dragons’ “Flames over Greennest” module pushes players to exhaustion with that many encounters before a punishing boss fight that you’re intended to lose, and it’s definitely not fun, especially because those caster classes just do not have the slots to spare at level 1.

It’s clear how SR/LR resources evolved from daily/encounter powers in 4e, and that was a much more elegant way of handling resource expenditure, even if it did make all the classes play kind of the same.

Yeah, they got super lazy with magic item economy in 5e and justified it by saying “you can play this game without the expectation of magic items!” Like bullshit, you just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of pricing items correctly to the point that there are items in lower tiers that are functionally the same or better than items in higher tiers. (Ring of warmth vs ring of resistance is an egregious example, but if you look hard enough you’ll find more.)

“Next time, baby.”

I will never not laugh my ass off thinking about that.

Yeah, I don’t think there’s a restaurant on Alberta that doesn’t have at least a little of this aesthetic.

That said, Pine State is worth the asking price and I’ll kill on that hill.

But it’ll never happen because it’s bad for rich people.

At the time?

“Correction, we have three potato.”

• Politburo

I was going to make a crack about them inventing a time machine to get Big Macs from like 20 years ago, but I actually kind of wish they’d bring back the angus 1/3rd pounder, those burgers were great.

Seconded by Terry Davis

They’re efficient at maximizing profits for shareholders, usually at the dire expense of literally everyone else.

Slowly turning into a Life in Hell strip

Even then, it’s still just trying to duplicate the environment that I create for myself at home, and I know where that exists already.