It’s a long shot, though.

Ah, finally a practical use for AI…universal scapegoat!

I just want to say thank you, and I appreciate the team’s efforts to be excellent to each other.

Ah, the new American dream!

I see your post has a few upvotes. Therefore, I will trust you implicitly on this matter. Thank you!

To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses, I lost interest anyway.

Absorption method:

• open textbook

• place forehead on paper

• fall asleep

• absorb information while unconscious

My response is even harsher…“Yeah, no, I’m finding a way to never use this company’s services ever again.” Easier said than done, but I don’t even want to associate with places that shove this in my face.

So, what is the difference between this approach and just selling an extended warranty?

Time to bug out of this relationship.

Shrimp.

A friend pointed out to me that shrimp are basically the cockroaches of the sea. They just float around and eat fish poop all day. So gross and I can’t even.

Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!

Yes, it’s OK to leave a hot dog in a car. Hot dogs are best when served warm. The searing interior of your car will make it feel right at home.

Biden drew up this storm path on a map…WITH A SHARPIE

That’s the spirit!

The nice thing about being a pessimist is that you are always either right, or pleasantly surprised.

Elon, sometime soon: “I’ve got a great idea! We’re renaming Tesla to ‘E’! Let’s go, bros!”

Please, how do I unsubscribe from this program/station/network/reality?

I was trying to think how this could be enforced. It actually makes sense when you frame it this way, didn’t think about the parent side. “Sorry Karen, that’s the law! Your kid week get her phone back in a week!”

October 2025 me: what the hell, why didn’t anyone tell me about this before!?!