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Biden drew up this storm path on a map…WITH A SHARPIE
Biden drew up this storm path on a map…WITH A SHARPIE
That’s the spirit!
The nice thing about being a pessimist is that you are always either right, or pleasantly surprised.
Elon, sometime soon: “I’ve got a great idea! We’re renaming Tesla to ‘E’! Let’s go, bros!”
Please, how do I unsubscribe from this program/station/network/reality?
I was trying to think how this could be enforced. It actually makes sense when you frame it this way, didn’t think about the parent side. “Sorry Karen, that’s the law! Your kid week get her phone back in a week!”
October 2025 me: what the hell, why didn’t anyone tell me about this before!?!
Someone recently told me they bought a “vintage truck”. I asked them what year the truck was made, expecting something from the 60’s or so…but apparently 1985 is vintage now. 😟
That’s a solid platform,! Where do I send campaign donations?
Ah, I see you have studied and understand the complexities of corporate finance. Well done, let’s give our CEO a 2,000% raise to celebrate!
-Corporate board somewhere, probably
Bro, you need to work for the election campaign. This is far more motivating than professional ads I see elsewhere.
That face when you realize the subway car IS the toilet.
Couldn’t happen to a better guy, right?
A wild Mitch Hedberg appears! Have my updoot.
Hopefully harder to push around government types, I agree. But at the same time, easier to summon and unleash his mob without restraint. At that point, what else can he possibly lose?
It’s here to stay…for only $3.99 per month! *
*cost for monthly subscription only. Excludes fees for sending and receiving messages. Chat and others services extra.
Anyone want to take a bet, this is where we will be in 5 years?
And my axe!
Hey guys, I’m developing a quintiple A game! It’s real because I just said so! Also the price point for AAAAA games will be $145 cause that’s how awesome it will make you feel.
p.s. - planned DLC releases during early access for only $99, what a bargain!
I hereby sure myself for publishing information about my location in my Instagram posts. Continued posting clearly shows a blatant disregard of my safety and feelings.
Yes, it’s OK to leave a hot dog in a car. Hot dogs are best when served warm. The searing interior of your car will make it feel right at home.