I don’t know which would be worse - the fact that you had this on deck ready to go for just such an occasion as this, or that you went out of your way to custom-make this. Either way, absolute power move

Its the title of a Philip K. Dick short story that later became the basis for Blade Runner. Excellent read if you’re into scifi

Those songs infuriate me, Walmart does the same thing too. They always sound like some mediocre dude/dudette just banged them out in an afternoon over some knockoff karaoke backing track. As somebody who tries to appreciate when music has a lot of effort or technical skill or even deep emotion put into it, those songs are an affront to me in every way that matters.

It takes her only 2-3 repetitions to learn a new word, it’s wild. She’s super clever but also the doofiest dog I’ve ever seen, it’s hilarious

I speak to my dog in complete sentences which was a mistake because now she knows every synonym for park, walk, treats, and any time we’re referring to her even if we just say ‘her,’ ‘it,’ or ‘the hound.’ She even learned that any time we spell a word it’s related to something she likes and she goes bonkers.

You know I hate to say I told you so

Obliviously they meant obvious

Far out, man

Thank you, that would have been bugging me all day

I know who Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter are but I’m not familiar with the original photo. I feel like I should be, though

Sleep is awesome. Getting shit done, now that’s the thing that’s overrated

Fs in the chat, bois

Fair enough, it really does depend on how old the kids are, but the mental image was too funny to me

‘Hey kids, your mom won’t give daddy the nookie so I’ma head out now’

You just described precisely the reason this needs to happen

Home… Home is where you wear your hat!

Do you write for Letterkenny?

New Oldsmobiles are in early this year

This is the worst thing I’ve seen in a week or so and the more you think about it the worse it gets. Congratulations on destroying my psyche, I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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