RiverGhost

I don’t like it, haven’t really needed it, prefer public transport and have terrible motor skills.

I really enjoyed reading your story. It’s honest about your faults and kind to yourself at the same time. I hope I can find a way to see my own life in a similar way.

I get it, most of my life I’ve had episodes that are more like yours, and my brain just found this and it doesn’t want to let go for a reason. The first couple of months I thought it was the best escape, but once I realized I couldn’t stop, I’ve been despairing. I feel like I’m going mad but more quietly rather than explosively.

Daydreaming. I’m sick of it, but I keep going there.

I like that Cory Doctorow is pretty open about having been scammed despite being quite well informed, because it really can happen to anyone. It just takes the right convergence of factors.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/

Yes, the mitochondria and all the other organelles. We’re mostly egg.

And people forget that we’re also the egg.

I don’t see anything mentally unhealthy about what you do, sounds cool.

Thanks, that was not fun on mobile but I think I got it.

Text version

When people ask me why
it took two years of writing poems
to write this poem
to write the rape poem,
I will tell them all about you.

How you watch this stage
the same way you watch CSI,
you already know what’s coming next,
it’s just another mangled body,
I am just another hit and run,
so you take this time to get another drink,

I’ll tell them
how every story sounds the same
when you stop listening,

I’ll tell them
how nice it must be
to be able to walk away, and
I’ll tell them
how there’s a voice in the back of my head
that sounds an awful lot like yours saying,

This is just another rape poem.

Just another little-girl-lost poem.
Just another do-not-touch-me-until-I-ask you-to-touch-me poem.

Just another seven-years-old,
sleeping with a Tinkerbell wand on my nightstand
and a kitchen knife underneath my pillow
because I swore the next time he came into my bedroom
uninvited
he would come out bleeding poem;
and I get it.

I know that you are tired of hearing rape poems.
I am tired of hearing rape poems,
the same way soldiers are tired of hearing their own guns go off, believe me,
we all wish the war was over, but friend,
you are staring out at a world on fire complaining about how ugly you think the ashes are,

The poems are not the problem.

We have built cathedrals
out of spite and splintered bone,
of course they aren’t pretty,
nothing holy ever is—
Think of Gandhi’s blistered feet,
think of that crown made of thorns
and the sweat on your mother’s sacred chest
as she pushed to get you here,
the work is never pretty,
but it’s the only way the house gets built;

So I’m sorry that you don’t want to look at my wreckage,
but
I have carpentry in my mouth.
I have a hammer in my hands,
you cannot stop me from building,
and as long as you’re there,
in the back of the room,
I am going to be here,
voice made from smolder,
because this is my story
and you cannot take this
from me.

I was accelerated (though nowhere like this) and for me, personally, it wasn’t great. 14 was not the right age for me to decide to be a doctor and enroll. I did the whole thing and I have the diploma but I never worked in the field because I had completely burned out by then.

Of course I’m also AuDHD and maybe my mental health wouldn’t be any better in different circumstances, we’ll never know.

I was very confused until I realized you mean flat elastic bands which I’m not so familiar with (the ones I’m used to, have square cross sections).

Was it because of that other post about the two genders Fe (iron) and Mn (Manganese)?

You painted these yourself? They look so good! (I haven’t seen the originals).

Well it does say “4life”

I agree, but I think I understand why I do it.

TL:DR Maladaptive behavior that is however ultimately harmless since I don’t bother people.

I was a “gifted child”; was always like 2 school years ahead, started uni at 15 and every single person I met would praise me for being the youngest. I was immature so it got to my head. I also have always looked much younger than I am, which also invites comments. Finally, I also have AuDHD and I’m constantly anxious about not acting my age and being too immature. So I try to look at other people’s ages to guide me in how I’m supposed to behave.

All of this is maladaptive and I’ve gotten a lot better with time, and I’m still working on it, but I’m not particularly bothered about the actual fact of having an interest in people’s ages. I make sure I don’t ask them about it or bother them about it, but many just offer this information on their own.

It’s probably normal to forget. I am probably the odd one in that I’m always very aware of my age and I’m almost 40. I’m also acutely aware of the ages of people around me, and (very mildly) uncomfortable if I don’t know someone’s age.

I know someone named Pia. Never thought it was weird but we didn’t interact in English

How do you phrase your refusal? I am not looking for work right now, and my current job didn’t give me live coding sessions. I’m against them in principle.

But I can’t figure out how to phrase it in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re dodging. Do you refuse while you’re already in the interview? Or do you make a preemptive disclaimer when they invite you for a “technical interview”?

Seems like only the US is available. I am also curious about a product like this that’d deliver to Sweden.