Why not just get some of these

Must be embarrassing to not understand that living languages evolve.

I also come from a religious family, which is why I say: For a fun read, please read Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore. Honestly, everything by Kurt Vonnegut, but if I have to pick, Harrison Bergeron is one of the best short stories I have ever read, and I carry Cat’s Cradle in my heart.

Someone else suggested Catch-22, and I consider it a must read.

The Sun Also Rises is my favorite cock-and-bull story, but also, incredible for learning how to read critically. What I mean is, Hemingway is a 2 for 1 deal. There’s the story that’s written out, but when you read it again, you see everything he didn’t say is a whole different story. Hemingway was a very deliberate writer, every word chosen for a reason, so when reading his work, it enhances the experience to ask yourself why he would choose to write that way.

But if you want some real good recommendations, I suggest finding a banned books list.

Women are not scared to get arrested.

Not a good substitute, but an okay addition. Makes boring coffees taste better. I drink mostly decaf, and sometimes it is difficult to find reliably good decaf for normal pricing, and if I’m using Starbucks or Tim Hortons decaf, it helps the flavor.