Man, this is the only explanation for the closure of the lone Italian place in town a few years back.

No Italian restaurants currently exist in a 50 mile radius.

Town’s haunted now.

Zpoopa del giOHNO

The worst part is knowing that they’re (most likely) just listening to the loudest voter in their household even if other opinions manage to exist in their family.

I only remembered my dad talking about Bush or scoffing at this or that “donkey” thing so I thought it was Bush and the elephants I was supposed to like. I know I would have voted as such in something like this because I didn’t know any better at 6-8 years old, although I’m not finding the kids’ age ranges in this mock election. Anyway, I still didn’t know any better in junior high, I remember voting for Bush again in a 7th grade social studies poll on the 2004 elections. I recall the teacher saying even the results amongst one class were usually a pretty accurate reflection of the actual election results, right down to the goob who voted for Nader.

It took me going to college in the purplest damn section of a pretty red state for me to come to terms with what I actually believed and felt about people and politics. Further education was definitely key, and intertwined with that, it opened me up to people. Just talking to people in an environment where you’re all on essentially the same operating level day to day is huge.

My dad kept doing his thing in the small town where everyone knew everyone and somehow managed to sleep with everyone, too. He turned into a Trumper. I did my thing and I admit, it took me a lot of those four years of working on projects and getting pissed about loans together but really just enjoying life with a modestly diverse, pretty tolerant student body (still a lot of white raised-as-protestant types) to undo the damage of a conservatively skewed and Catholic childhood. But I can tell you that by 2014 I was annoyed at myself for not caring about the 2012 election, this first time I could vote. And you can guess I most certainly never even considered supporting Trump or any of the terrible things he represents when he suddenly-to-me showed up.

Would it make any reasonable sense for my dad to go to college at his age? No, probably not. But how do we get people to “simply” live around and be exposed to more people with relatively little prejudice in social status?

Do we just … Idk where I’m going with this I got high but wait just a tick here did I just reason myself into communism ^fuckityshit

I feel like I just read a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle label.

I uninstalled the McDonald’s app last November(?) when they tried to make me accept their bullshit binding arbitration T&Cs.

Saving money, feeling better, not supporting fascism.

My eyes! You’ve spoiled them!!

^/s

I love geography and boy oh boy was I excited to visually confirm that Ohio is indeed The Sweaty Ass Crack of America®!

I got carried away drawing the rest of the human creature American specimen. Thoughts on better knuckle placement?

Hi human, I’m high. Are you high, too? Because this reads like something I would write while high. And I’m for serious.

I’m sorry but why does he look like an aging emo?

I love this! Free cat scratchers might not seem like they have much value, but has anyone seen the price of those ready-made things?! They’re pushing $20 for a large-ish flat scratcher at lower volume places like TSC, but Target isn’t much better, still $10 for a 10" x 18" flat cheapy.

Down with bougie cat cardboard!!!

Oh

Oh no

Not the person you replied to, but you make a great point. There’s most certainly ulterior motives for joining forces. However, I would prefer to work alongside and run against (in future elections, may the voters work to keep them in existence) a relatively honorable opponent using this tactic as a means try to keep their seat, rather than their turning farther right, emboldening and embodying every trait of a traitorous enemy.

I feel like I’m stating the obvious here, but this seems so off-the-charts guaranteed to backfire on him. What even mild Swiftie isn’t going to figure out (or hasn’t already) just how fake this endorsement is? Of any celeb to fake, Taylor seems like a such a flamingly dumb choice in terms of the fandom’s social media engagement.

With all these increasingly stupid moves… Is he really that detached and senile, or is there more behind his [team’s] style of psycho-political warfare going on?

I don’t think I’ve seen it pondered anywhere on social media, so I must ask: Does it not seem like Trump is purposely trying to throw the election at this point? If that’s the case, I fear the heightened degree of nefarious intent for whatever guaranteed political unrest we will face in November. I don’t think this is baseless conspiratorial thinking on my part, unfortunately.

Or … Or … Maybe his patently obvious mental decline has eroded away just enough of his super-sized ego to let in juuust enough reality for him to consciously recognize that he is going to die soon whether he likes it or not, and now he doesn’t give a shit-a-minute if he wins anymore. Can you imagine?

[Ah yes, a solid B+ troll, using the “are you all right” trope to get a rise out of me. The following would be my “rise.”]

Oh for cripes sake, can you not see I was leaning into your trolling mindset with my first bit?!! Keep fuckin moving the goalpost, y’all are good at that.

[Yes, I clearly suspended my disbelief in trying to see what exactly is legitimate under all of what you’ve said so far. It’s a fascinating occupation you’ve taken on, Professional Troll of Dubious Intent (PTODI), but if even if you actually don’t harbor these shitty thoughts against people, you are literally, actually right this moment making the entire platform of discourse shittier. I guess I should step outside my human brain and understand that some purported humans just want to watch the world burn. Sigh… Fuckin PTODIs.]

Aaaaand now I wonder if you (and your friend) are experiencing a wicked case of DID. Please consult your totally real psychologist on that for more info on how to reign in your diverging personalities. (Wouldn’t wanna have to get your lawyer involved, you know, like if your online troll personality state starts wreaking legal havoc in real life. Who would be to blame? You?! Or you?!!?!)

Serious question. And making the forgiving assumption your “friend” wasn’t just a cover story. This troll business you opened up here, do you you actually believe and stand behind what you profess?

It took me all of 90 seconds to read through your comment history and confirm you are in some kind of pain, the kind that breeds misplaced anger at the lack of stability in your own identity.

You did, however, ponder one valuable bit of insight at the end of your recent AITA post (15 days ago) regarding your wife quitting her job and her not listening to you. Please follow your instinct here. Please do be open to your wife about going your separate ways.

Real talk, she will be better off without you. You act as if she’s holding you back, all the while it sounds like she’s been holding you up. It seems you are the one holding both of you back, and projecting this financial and identity instability onto others is illustrative of your own issues.

You don’t seem like a legitimate troll. You seem like you’re fighting for your own identity and you’re projecting your frustrations by asserting other people are deluded in knowing who they are and somehow insane for wanting a modicum of human respect. Yet I think you and many, many others like you, are those truly struggling.

I think you are currently showing a lack of respect to others because, deep down, you don’t respect yourself. And that is not okay. Needing and seeking help and direction from others, including mental health professionals, is not a blue-haired liberal thing, it’s a human thing. Please consider it.

Ahem… Loosh dentshursh.

I’ve never heard of this guy before, so I had to research. Wikipedia entry for his early life: “Pool was born in Chicago, Illinois, and grew up in a middle-class family. His father was a firefighter and his mother sold cars. Pool attended a Catholic school until completing the fifth grade and left school at the age of 14.”

Whelp. That explains a lot. I have yet to hear him speak or read any quotes on wiki or elsewhere. Though I can predict a certain cadence of speech and lack of even the tiniest depth of understanding of whatever he’s talking about.

So which do we think came first? Private school or the dumb?

Just chiming in to say I think you’re right in that these types of thought experiments pop into people’s heads pretty regularly, albeit with way less “trying to justify a creepy sex fantasy” intent like the public poll post seems to have.

Though I have to question why it was public in the first place. I don’t know who the poster is or if it’s their real name, but what if it’s less “projection” and more “morbid curiosity” in seeing just how many people would answer yes to this heinous question? There is some merit in gauging reactions to this from a social psychology point of view (even if this is an non-scientific example).

Follow-up thought. Without morbid thought experiments, how do people create horror stories and gritty crime dramas like L&O:SVU when a story has no particular real life basis? I’m not sure it’s wholly possible in a fictional novel or show. There’s a reason people eat crime dramas up; it’s fascinating and horrifying to see how far a real and fictionalized human will go in various circumstances.

In a way, it’s a manifestation of the “call of the void” situation, where an intrusive thought (what if I jump off this bridge right now? what happens if I yank the steering wheel driving 50mph? spook a herd of grazing horses? slap grandpa upside the head? while out hunting??) so I think its purpose is more to keep you aware of harzards in whatever the situation may be. Avoidance through sudden acknowledgement of the risk.

Again, I don’t recognize this person or know any background, but maybe they posed the question as a wacky means of self-preservation on a broader level? As if the poller thought, “How many of my viewers would prostitute out their child if given the most forgiving, financially advantageous, and seemingly consensual circumstances?” to figure out how worried they should be about a certain percentage of their friends, neighbors, and/or followers. Avoidance through asking weird questions publicly.

Edit: Holy ship I managed to write a whole novel on my thought experiment about thought experiments ahh^ahh.

This hit me pretty hard for some reason. A person sure forgets how easily they dehumanize people in the public eye, until another person so poignantly humanizes them again. Thank you, this was a really nice comment to read.

Holy sheeps, I’m not the only one?! I know I need to get my butt off Windows, but oh my lordie, the slowness of typing feedback gets so bad on Word or Mail that it literally sometimes refuses to graphically acknowledge an entire short word, leaving the screen void of the word I know I just typed, until I backspace one measly letter and the word (minus the letter) finally shows up.

It is absolutely, unironically infuriating.