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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 4th, 2023

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  • You really don’t, humans are by and large social animals, so while you might be able to suppress that feeling, there’s little chance to get rid of it entirely.

    I agree with the other comment though that you need to build general social circles first and foremost. That’s how most relationships start anyway, through mutual hobbies and interests.

    Just don’t go waltzing into any hobby gardener meetup with the only thought in mind to find a partner, but rather get involved with something you care about and then see what happens. Be that a book club, board game session, arts & craft stuff, sports, or whatever, just make sure it’s an actual interest of yours.

    And if it’s the no sex part that contributes to your insecurity, then seriously, find a paid companion. If that’s illegal where you’re at, find a place you could go without repercussions. I’ve seen people transform over such encounters, no matter how frowned upon it might seem in society.
















  • We had something like that in Germany, if you opted out of military service, you had to do civil service instead, i.e. you had to work in an institution that provided some benefit to the general public.

    Most of those jobs were healthcare related, such as working in a hospital, as ambulance driver, kindergarten teacher, assisted living helper etc., or working in a supervisory rule for a company that employed people with disabilities to make sure they don’t get injured in the workplace.

    Both my brother and I did it (they later scraped military service, and the civil service as a consequence), and it was really amazing. He went to work in a food factory where people with mental disabilities were employed to sort raw ingredients (think removing debris and washing fruit and vegetables for juice, yoghurt & pickling), I worked as a nurse in a hospital.

    Gave both of us a good twist for our careers, he moved on to study education for people with disabilities and now works as a special ed teacher for an integrative school, I went on to work in the development aid sector all across Africa and Central Asia for years.