Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I’ll delete if so. It’s also rather long. But I’m not sure how to figure out where to go from here.
There are two components to the above.
- I am bad at my job.
I am a bit too slow and am objectively the weakest link of my group of coworkers. No one has told me this, but I know it to be true. Often we will be behind with the workload and I know it’s most likely because of me. It impacts others and it makes it so people have to work extra hours on the weekend. This hurts people.
To help make up for this, I sometimes do extra work off the clock to help my coworkers. But I still feel bad about it.
I don’t want to switch careers. I make very good money at my job and don’t have any other skills. I have been doing this for several years now and cannot see myself improving any further at this point.
We are working on getting an additional employee which should help the workload. However, I will always be the weakest link and it feels bad.
- I complain/vent too much .
This isn’t acceptable, as it hurts other people. Most human beings have empathy. When I do this to people, I can tell that it makes them feel bad. And many people already have enough to worry about in their lives. What right do I have to hurt other people by making them feel bad for me?
This one at least I can work on improving. I need to be able to learn to shut my mouth and stop talking to people in these scenarios. It’s wrong to vent to others. It hurts them. You’re not supposed to do that. You’re not supposed to express yourself that way to others. You’re supposed to keep sadness and frustration inside.
But I have learned to shut my mouth in other scenarios, so there’s some hope I can learn with this one. It’s really hard because I don’t stop and think until after I’ve done it.
How do I go about dealing with this sort of thing? Thanks if you’ve taken the time to get this far. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
Even if you’re the weakest link, a good manager and good team would make sure to assign you tasks that match your level such that it all works out in the end. I’m a software engineer and I’m watching over a junior and a senior. One of them gets bigger tasks, one of them get smaller tasks. It’s similar work, but in the end I want both to have cleared the same amount of tickets and feel good about it. When I plan the next tasks, I think of “what can I give to the junior, what can I hand out to the senior”.
If you guys are always behind schedule, then some manager isn’t managing properly. It either means you need more team members, or your manager should discuss with you ways to improve your performance. But you’ll rarely find a team where every employee is top notch. Some people just work slower than others. It’s the manager’s job to deal with that.
As for the venting, I think it’s important to be mindful of other people to be on the receiving end. If you need to do that much venting you might want to consider a therapist, who might be able to help you deal those thoughts and how to manage them.