I just came to know of a woman who was raped. i.e., not on TV but in real life, I saw her sobbing face. I didn’t have a clue what to do. I believe the right thing to tell her would have been to say, go to the police right now and give a rape exam, this would at least make sure there is a small chance that the scumbags who committed the crime would be caught for good.

Now, I didn’t muster up enough courage to do it. Instead I thought “Well, why should I care about her? I am pretty sure lots of women get raped every day, why should I care about her? I am late for something and I should get going” and I did get going. Moreover, she was swarmed by a ton of women consoling her and I doubt if she wanted to talk to man right now. And moreover, I can’t imagine it being an easy job to convince her to do anything in that stage. So, I just left her be to the mercy of women gathered there and I just came to know that the good rowdies of the street offered the woman to freshen up at their house, thus most likely erasing all trace of the crime from her body. Now, their mothers and sisters live there and I made sure that she left their bloody house (i.e., Ik, I didn’t drag her out) because I think the rowdies of the street are beyond doing the horrible act themselves.

But yeah, I did a morally reprehensible thing where one needed moral courage, just because I didn’t want to do the hard work and sacrifice my own time for the betterment of an other.

  1. And the man/men who committed that act on her, did it most probably because they were resentful and they liked doing it. So, how does one decide what is moral and immoral?

I did it because I liked it doesn’t really to seem to have worked out in this situation. I didn’t do it because I didn’t like it (i.e., me) doesn’t seem to be a stellar option either.

This didn’t happen but,

Bonus question: If that victim was say standing on a train line here, what should one do? What should a man do? Should he make sure to use his force to remove her from the spot and thus “saving her” but in the process exerting control and taking away the one act of free will she has done since the horrible incident? Who says saving her is the “right” thing to do?

Again, putting myself as the first priority, I am not going to reply until I am free.

These issues need to be probed much deeper than a post on lemmy, so are there any books on moral questions relating to what I am asking here which you know of, in which case please mention it.

  • Ganesh Venugopal@lemmy.mlOP
    3·
    1 year ago

    outsourcing your morality to an idealogy to do the thinking for you

    I don’t see what can go wrong here.

    I think when you make cut and dry rules about morality, then it becomes an ideology and you’re not acting morally or amorally

    What is the origin of morality according to you? I am an atheist so I don’t believe in Judeo Christian values and all that, what little good those values have, they derive it from evolution. But yeah, without God isn’t everything permissible?

    Instead of talking to the victim, maybe it was possible to talk to one of the women aside, and express your concern that this should be taken legally.

    I live in India and people won’t speak straight ffs. If I had asked a woman I doubt if they would have even said a word about her being raped, they would have made up some vague shit. Infact the reason I know she was raped because of vague shit, the neighbor was willing to use any word to describe what happened to her but use the word raped. I wish people good for fucks sakes speak straight!

    I doubt even if the woman would have said what happened to her, but she has my sympathy and I won’t expect her to open up about it to a random stranger. Heck, I would not if I was in her place. Thus clear actions can’t be taken when you are afraid of words or speaking about it.

    I wonder how many women (and men) had to go through this shit and just showered and destroyed evidence of the crime against their soul just because they couldn’t speak. I am not judging them, but yeah, the “better” thing to do here would be walk straight to police station and take a rape exam and fucking say everything, but I doubt if I would do it if I was in shambles. ughhh…

    • OwenEverbinde@lemmy.myserv.oneEnglish
      4·
      1 year ago

      It sounds like you were distressed and left because you didn’t know what to do or how to help.

      That’s empathy. Feeling uncomfortable when you see people in pain is empathy. And it’s normal. It’s normal for you to feel distressed around her as you hear her account. It’s normal to want to leave. It’s normal to feel guilty about leaving. It’s normal to wonder if you could have done more to help catch the bastard.

      This is awful. What you just saw is awful. What you just experienced is legitimately uncomfortable.

      And it’s hard for people to wrap their heads around, because how could your pain be valid when it’s a response to seeing someone in “real” pain? How could your pain be important when it’s nothing more than the faint echo of the pain you’re witnessing someone else go through?

      But it hurts. As selfish as it feels to hurt at a time like this, it still hurts.

      • Ganesh Venugopal@lemmy.mlOP
        3·
        1 year ago

        And it’s hard for people to wrap their heads around, because how could your pain be valid when it’s a response to seeing someone in “real” pain? How could your pain be important when it’s nothing more than the faint echo of the pain you’re witnessing someone else go through?

        exactly! you are right!