Pet rats are one thing but absolutely fuck wild rats as a pest. When they get into your walls, your floorboards. Your kitchen and bedrooms. Like roaches, if someone finds out, it implies you are an unclean housekeeper but in reality they’re just fucking hard to get rid of. They shit everywhere. Your bed. Your floors and dishes. They chew up the wood on corners and the feet of tables and chairs. They’ll bite you and your kids in your sleep leaves welts. If they get a large enough population they’ll bite your pets or worse. In addition they themselves are unclean. Everything has to be washed before you use it or touch it. Every dry good in your pantry they get into. Even when you get rid of them, the habit of checking edges of boxes never goes away. They’ll chitter in the back of closets where you can’t see them. Give birth all over your shirts in a drawer, and turn your socks into confetti. Then die in a wall and reek for weeks.

Fuck rats.