• …continued

    Vance doesn’t read books or book summaries, he reads online book discussions to learn what his opinions should be

    Keeps a hot pack under his pillow to keep both sides warm

    Eats his hotdogs center-out

    Audibly vocalizes “mmmmmmm” every time he steps into a school

    Prefers his curly fries steamed

    • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      He feeds his fingernail clippings to squirrels

      He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts

      He stands to the left on the peoplemover in the airport

      He prefers his socks sweaty and “crunchy”

      He begins most conversations with “don’t you know who I am?”

      He does that thing when he talks where he gets too close and starts rubbing your shoulder

      • elliot_crane@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts

        I know most of these are just silly digs for the memes, but I could 100% see prince couchfucker doing this and thinking in his mind that he actually did the server a favor.

      • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        He uses metal utensils on teflon non-stick pots and pans, then immediately runs them under cold tap water because finds the sizzle soothing

        He orders a salad with the dressing on the side and eats everything but the lettuce

        He puts quick-dry clothes in the wash on HOT and leaves them in the dryer for an hour on maximum temperature

        He waits until it’s his turn to order to start looking at the menu when dining at fast food joints

        He showers everywhere, even at home, in a bathing suit because even he thinks it’s totally gay if he sees any male’s genitals…even his own

        He goes to a fancy steakhouse, orders a filet mignon well done, and dips it in ketchup packets he brought in his pocket

        Whenever he plays Cards Against Humanity, every round he says “I don’t get it”

        He never swallows fruit seeds because he will argue to the death that the seeds will grow inside you. Same with chewing gum and takes 5-7 years to digest it