I’m going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that’s part of my problem.

But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?

  • Gutless2615@ttrpg.network
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    1 year ago

    Nah. College 100% lived up to the dream of preparing me for professional and social world, I spent time discovering myself and my interests, made lifelong friends, had an absolute blast and would do it all over in a heartbeat. I feel sorry for you if you viewed it as a waste of time, but it was anything but for me and my friends.

    • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I feel sorry for you if you viewed it as a waste of time

      It’s not really about that. It’s about how this one structure and path is viewed as the only way to graduate into being a valuable adult member of society. Meanwhile, it’s more or less obvious and intuitive that variation between people, especially at a sufficiently large breadth of possibilities for growth and complexity at both individual and social levels, means that diversity amongst people requires diversity amongst pathways for comparable outcomes to be achieved.

      That is, a single system doesn’t work for everyone, and at some point, it’s worth questioning it’s primacy and not blaming ones self if it doesn’t live up to the “dream”/“hype”. This, IMO, becomes all the more important a critique when college/university’s primary value to the economy is certifying the vocational/intellectual qualities of a person … and yet so much of your statement and comments in praise of college here are about “having a blast”.

      Also …

      Nah. College 100% lived up to the dream …

      Maybe it’s just your expression here, but it’s precisely this kind of sentiment (as I’m reading it right now) that I think is actually problematic. It worked for you. Great. Doesn’t mean it’s a good system or anyone’s fault if it didn’t work for them … and that’s what this thread is about. My first post said already made this point, even suggesting that the system might work for the majority (But those opportunities aren’t necessarily attractive to everybody).

      The problem here is the tendency of those for whom “it lived up to the dream” to brush away any suggestions that the system isn’t great or has problems … rather than, I don’t know, have a conversation about it and engage some empathy to better understand where people are coming from … maybe they could form good friendships formed out of college? Without wanting to get too dramatic, this is the stuff of cultural hegemony and usually a process by which people get marginalised and society held back. Again, that college/university is the great “certification” of worth in modern western society makes this issue not insignificant.

      • Gutless2615@ttrpg.network
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        1 year ago

        Im not here to argue with you mate. But I think the experience of a college campus is great, and has a long lineage for a good reason. I’m proud of my liberal arts education and the experiences I had and the lessons I learned. Sure, it’s not for everyone — never said it is — but nothings for everyone. Obviously. But I do think it’s generally a good thing to put a bunch of young people in one place more or less dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge and learning for that sake. I think it’s a good thing that young people are encouraged to “find themselves” and to party and to learn how to socialize with other people like them, and most everything else that comes wrapped in the college experience. Again it’s fine that it didn’t work for you, and I’m sorry that you feel like it was a waste of your time. But as I said, it couldn’t be further from the truth for me.

        And also, bud, for someone bristling at presumptions being made, you sure did jump to one based on my brief expression. No one here isn’t “engaging with some empathy” with you. But we don’t have to agree with you either. 🤷‍♂️

        • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          you sure did jump to one based on my brief expression

          Yea, you’re making this way too personal. It’s not about you and me, it’s more abstract than that. I had a good time at University. Just didn’t impress me and I think the system deserves critique.

          Also, I might not have made myself clear on the whole cultural hegemony point … I was generalising from the impression I got off the expression. It wasn’t an accusation at you personally, but more a take on how a mainstream culture might struggle to process how and why a venerated institution doesn’t work for many, with your expression being used as a sort of archetype.

          All that being said, personally, I wouldn’t underestimate how much one can contribute to a mainstream cultural hegemony by just being a member who is a tad indifferent, misunderstanding, unempathetic, and even, naive or unconcerned with the bigger cultural picture.