Dragon for sure. It’s getting increasingly embarrassing to be a human…
“Become a dragon” covers most, if not all, of the rest.
Really dependent on which mythology’s dragon you become. That aside, being a dragon in modern day would probably be very hazardous. Better hope you’re a small enough dragon to not cause much property damage while figuring out your new body, and to stay mostly undetected, because otherwise you’re likely to end up dead, or in captivity somewhere in fairly short order.
I’m Welsh, we already like Dragons, I’d be the second coming of Y Ddraig Goch. It’ll be fabulous.
Become a dragon that hunts billionaires to make a horde of wealth for yourself. I’d watch that.
Takes “always relax” potion
Damn I gotta watch that again
These kind of posts always have weird ones like Poison Breath.
Why would I want that? To kill people? Mustard gas is easy to make and I’d just get arrested anyways.
The only reasonable use I can think of is if you wanted to start a pest control company… woo?
Instant death may be useful if it’s like the Death Note, or else you’d also just get arrested.
Instant death may be useful if it’s like the Death Note, or else you’d also just get arrested.
At some point an investigator figures out that you’re the only person that’s connected to all the deaths, however remotely. As the years go by, you’ve done lunch together a few times and are on a first name basis. Their efforts are fruitless, and they can’t prove anything. But now you have an FBI surveillance van permanently parked outside your home, and that investigator keeps coming around.
always relax
sphincter prompty unclenches
Always Relax is the true Instant Death potion. Why stop at the sphincter when every muscle and blood vessel in your body suddenly stops contracting.
my furry ass saw “become a dragon” and didn’t even read the rest
Awww who’s a good dragon
pets the said good dragon
- Drink the purple one
- Jump off a cliff
- Realize I took the wrong purple one
- Still relaxed though
- survive an crawl up again, relaxed
- drink the right purple one
- jump off the cliff again
- realize what flight actually stands for
- still relaxed though
“Huh? Oh… OH!!” Dies instantly
I’ll take the “talk to plants” potion since it changes LITERALLY NOTHING, and I don’t want any additional powers myself.
Except now you’re wracked with crippling guilt every time you mow the lawn, chop up veggies for dinner, or walk by some poor little scrawny weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Except plant never developed language or even neurons to process thought. You drink the “Talk to plants” potion and the world is just as silent as it was before.
It was recently discovered that plants do talk to each other. It’s still being studied.
That is really old news. Whole forests do this. But that’s still not talking.
If that’s what a “talk” to plants drink does, I’d love to get a “talk” to humans drink. Imagine the psychology experiments I could set up if I could understand the subconscious pheromone, posture, subvocal, and other various poorly understood methods of communication!
Talk to Plants.
Just so I can tell vegans what their food is saying.
This was my first choice, until I thought of how horrifying the screams would be whenever someone mows the lawn
Fun fact: Plants are still alive when you eat them.
Kinky
