I’m going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that’s part of my problem.

But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?

  • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Just to add to all of this …

    College/university, for some, is an overrated and over-hyped “life event” that doesn’t exist apart from in marketing land.

    The relatively special thing about it is that it’s probably the last stage in your life where you’re forced through this process with a whole bunch of people together all at once. That means that social opportunities exist. But those opportunities aren’t necessarily attractive to everybody, especially if you actually have intellectual/educational goals in mind. I learnt pretty early on that I actually didn’t connect with as many as I thought I would despite plenty of social activity and despite the specific filtration that happens in taking a degree after high school. Just because you’re all the same age in the same degree doesn’t mean that you have that much in common. The super rich social life event is a pitch but not a reality for everyone.

    I’d bet that you could do with a slightly healthier social life that suits you and isn’t concerned with meeting the expectations of what college is for, but that you should feel good about having gotten your grades and hopefully a useful degree that resonates with you and your interests. Take that, leave college behind, and make the most of the actual real world that’s about to open up for you.

    Me, personally … I look back on college/university and think the whole thing is mostly a waste of time. Whatever education we want or need as a society can now be delivered better (IMO) with less hassle and in a way that’s actually integrated into our experience of and life within the real world. The more I think about it, the whole thing really does feel like a strangely distasteful mix of an aristocratic medieval idea of graduating into adulthood and isolating prestigious academics with modern capitalism and industrial complexes (in this case the education industrial complex).

    • Gutless2615@ttrpg.network
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      1 year ago

      Nah. College 100% lived up to the dream of preparing me for professional and social world, I spent time discovering myself and my interests, made lifelong friends, had an absolute blast and would do it all over in a heartbeat. I feel sorry for you if you viewed it as a waste of time, but it was anything but for me and my friends.

      • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        I feel sorry for you if you viewed it as a waste of time

        It’s not really about that. It’s about how this one structure and path is viewed as the only way to graduate into being a valuable adult member of society. Meanwhile, it’s more or less obvious and intuitive that variation between people, especially at a sufficiently large breadth of possibilities for growth and complexity at both individual and social levels, means that diversity amongst people requires diversity amongst pathways for comparable outcomes to be achieved.

        That is, a single system doesn’t work for everyone, and at some point, it’s worth questioning it’s primacy and not blaming ones self if it doesn’t live up to the “dream”/“hype”. This, IMO, becomes all the more important a critique when college/university’s primary value to the economy is certifying the vocational/intellectual qualities of a person … and yet so much of your statement and comments in praise of college here are about “having a blast”.

        Also …

        Nah. College 100% lived up to the dream …

        Maybe it’s just your expression here, but it’s precisely this kind of sentiment (as I’m reading it right now) that I think is actually problematic. It worked for you. Great. Doesn’t mean it’s a good system or anyone’s fault if it didn’t work for them … and that’s what this thread is about. My first post said already made this point, even suggesting that the system might work for the majority (But those opportunities aren’t necessarily attractive to everybody).

        The problem here is the tendency of those for whom “it lived up to the dream” to brush away any suggestions that the system isn’t great or has problems … rather than, I don’t know, have a conversation about it and engage some empathy to better understand where people are coming from … maybe they could form good friendships formed out of college? Without wanting to get too dramatic, this is the stuff of cultural hegemony and usually a process by which people get marginalised and society held back. Again, that college/university is the great “certification” of worth in modern western society makes this issue not insignificant.

        • Gutless2615@ttrpg.network
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          1 year ago

          Im not here to argue with you mate. But I think the experience of a college campus is great, and has a long lineage for a good reason. I’m proud of my liberal arts education and the experiences I had and the lessons I learned. Sure, it’s not for everyone — never said it is — but nothings for everyone. Obviously. But I do think it’s generally a good thing to put a bunch of young people in one place more or less dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge and learning for that sake. I think it’s a good thing that young people are encouraged to “find themselves” and to party and to learn how to socialize with other people like them, and most everything else that comes wrapped in the college experience. Again it’s fine that it didn’t work for you, and I’m sorry that you feel like it was a waste of your time. But as I said, it couldn’t be further from the truth for me.

          And also, bud, for someone bristling at presumptions being made, you sure did jump to one based on my brief expression. No one here isn’t “engaging with some empathy” with you. But we don’t have to agree with you either. 🤷‍♂️

          • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            you sure did jump to one based on my brief expression

            Yea, you’re making this way too personal. It’s not about you and me, it’s more abstract than that. I had a good time at University. Just didn’t impress me and I think the system deserves critique.

            Also, I might not have made myself clear on the whole cultural hegemony point … I was generalising from the impression I got off the expression. It wasn’t an accusation at you personally, but more a take on how a mainstream culture might struggle to process how and why a venerated institution doesn’t work for many, with your expression being used as a sort of archetype.

            All that being said, personally, I wouldn’t underestimate how much one can contribute to a mainstream cultural hegemony by just being a member who is a tad indifferent, misunderstanding, unempathetic, and even, naive or unconcerned with the bigger cultural picture.

    • masterspace@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      The more I think about it, the whole thing really does feel like a strangely distasteful mix of an aristocratic medieval idea of graduating into adulthood and isolating prestigious academics with modern capitalism and industrial complexes (in this case the education industrial complex).

      Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

      For many it’s a chance to break away from their parents and discover who they are and what they want out of life in an idealistic setting; they get to be very close to all their friends and their only concerns are learning and thinking about how to best to live. For many it is the one brief period of adulthood free from the capitalistic drives of modern society that they’ll ever get to experience.

      It’s telling that almost every major company that gets successful and prioritizes attracting employees ends up building a * campus*, to mimic the university experience.

      • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

        I wouldn’t presume to know what I did at University, in part because you’re wrong, but also that’s just very rude of you.

        You make good points. Some responses.

        • I’m also critical of the sparse and exploitative capitalistic world adults are thrust into. Things like campuses are basically public spaces and can exist without needing to be a student and can be enjoyed by people if they’re not exhausted from their job.
        • I think it’s idealistic to think college is a place where you can work out who you are. I think that’s an ongoing and a shifting target. I also think the isolated and idealistic setting can undermine the goal. As can the conflation with the pressure of establishing one’s future career (some need and struggle to get those grades for instance).
          • It’s this ideology I criticised in my prior post. Life is long and complex these days, I don’t think this idea of maturing in the crucible of University to forever be prepared for the rest of your life makes sense. A crucible of self discovery and exploration is a good thing, but that’s where my point of integrating such practices into everyday life continually over one’s life comes in.
          • Taking this further … what if someone doesn’t fit into this process or world view of idealistic college then capitalistic exploitation/drudgery? How would they discover this about themselves in this system? I’d argue they’d struggle and instead, as with the parent post, internalise any difficulties as due to their own failings, as the whole system is premised on measuring an individual’s performance and value, whether it be social or academic (and for the sake of a bit of tit-for-tar … I’m betting you have decent social networks both through your family and social skills and have always leveraged them to some extent in your livelihood, which is to say the system worked for you … genuinely curious about this).
        • Once can break away from one’s parents in plenty of other ways. Employment, a salary, living in one’s own home with their own finances can be very empowering especially compared to the weirdly impoverished conditions students are expected to enjoy.