• That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml
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    3 days ago

    That property has more rights and protections than people do.

    The value of human life, in reality, is much lower than I thought it would be.

    Laws and rights are only as good as the people & mechanisms that enforce them. A piece of paper doesn’t protect you, people do.

    That people often prefer a comforting delusion over the truth, even if it hurts them in the long run.

  • BenVimes@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    That I will never enjoy the taste of wine.

    I figured out I would never like coffee in my teens, and had the same realization about beer in my 20s.

    But it wasn’t until this year, in my mid-thirties, that I finally accepted that I don’t like the taste of wine and probably never will. After years of trying the full spectrum of wines, I had to admit that it wasn’t the “notes” that were turning me off, nor was it a problem with the quality of the wine. It was the fundamental “wine-ness” that I disliked, the same as I don’t like the “beer-ness” of beer or the “coffee-ness” of coffee.

    • HereIAm@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I’ve never quite gotten into wine either. I like most stouts and porters. Bit anything too hopy in my bear and it’s going in the sink. Shame with the whole IPA revolution going on. Other than that cider and cocktails are the only thing I really enjoy consuming. Everything from the sweet Swedish Briska to the most fermented fresh pressed apple cider goes down without much problem.

  • Chloë (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

    People just don’t care about you that much, if you go into the street wearing nail polish as a a male presenting person no one will care if you don’t act weird about it. Same thing for shaving your legs.

    Family might care though, what helped me was understanding that I spend a few days per year with my family maximum, but I spend that whole time with myself. So who cares what they think be yourself.

    This helped me start transitioning at 19

    • ReakDuck@lemmy.ml
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      4 days ago

      I don’t want to transition. I am 100% male and this will not change, but I still wanna dress sometimes like a gothic queen. Will happen for Halloween.

      But I still feel like people care. Even small changes on me get attention. I guess it depends if you learned lots of peoplr and friends in University or not.

      I think when Learning new people, it might have an influence. But idk. I never tried it because I am afraid.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        People will often take “I felt like it” or “I thought it looked cool” for an answer. Halloween crossdressing is normal, though yeah some people will wonder if you’re questioning your gender, it’s more because it’s a common safe way to express that and any concern is likely from a desire to help.

        And for what it’s worth I’ve known many cis men who like nail polish. Especially as an expression of goth, punk, or emo aesthetics where adopting feminine expressions are seen as cool for guys to do.

    • Hackworth@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      When I was a little girl I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me… special. And I decided that one day I would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone. And if I can’t write that book…

      …if I don’t, that means that all the damage I got isn’t good damage, it’s just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could’ve been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you’re saying? What was it all for? - Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman, S06E10, “Good Damage”

  • Dogiedog64@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    It’s OK to only do what you KNOW you are capable of doing. Too many people hurt themselves trying to push themselves too hard, when they just aren’t ready yet.

  • evlogii@lemm.ee
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    4 days ago

    Not all rich people are smart, and not all smart people are rich. Seems kind of obvious to me now, but it took me a long time to comprehend this.

  • ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Not too late but later than I should have:

    • To seek professional mental health help
    • To understand that Bisexuality really exists. Growing up and in my teens in media and pop culture it’s seemed that you either were gay or straight, no other option.
    • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      And that being gay was bad. It was not conveyed well in our media, and our culture was full of negative connotations with non-heterosexuality. I feel you on this one. Bi people exist, and we’re everywhere!

  • Melobol@lemmy.ml
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    5 days ago

    The thing that comes only with age is: to not give a fuck.

    When we learn that it doesn’t matter we can all be little old people who are purple mohawk headed, wearing clashing neon adidas jumpsuit with zebra primted boas.

    • ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      I only learned this a few weeks ago at 40 years old, now my hair is blue, both my ears are pierced and I’m a lot happier. I told my 19 year old daughter that “what will people think?” has been my mantra, now it’s “fuck 'em”

      • foggy@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        "at 20, you care the world what everyone thinks of you

        At 40 you learn to not care what anyone thinks of you

        At 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all, the whole time."

        • Today@lemmy.world
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          5 days ago

          If you quit worrying what people think of you, you’ll realize how seldom they do.

      • Ænima@lemm.ee
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        4 days ago

        Hey, I’m you and you’re me! I also just turned 40 in late September. Happy belated birthday, ya old fart!

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      5 days ago

      There’s always someone who will look at your life telling you you’re doing everything wrong. And you know what? That’s fine. It really doesn’t matter.

  • gasgiant@lemmy.ml
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    5 days ago

    The sunk cost fallacy is a very easy way to get stuck being miserable.

    Sometimes a drastic change might be painful at the time but will be much better for you overall.

    • davel [he/him]@lemmy.ml
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      5 days ago

      So what you’re saying is I should HODL my Bored Ape NFTs?

      /jk, broad stock & bond index funds are the way to go.

      • Asafum@feddit.nl
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        5 days ago

        No no no, they’re saying buy more NTFs! They just need to be different apes so you can have a broad index of them!

        :P

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      5 days ago

      I did both. Mostly ETFs, then some companies I liked. I’m up 100% over seven or so years, but I do admit I got lucky on companies I liked. All EFTs are up a bunch, the safest way to go!

  • Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it’s not your fault. It’s that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it’s necessary to understand that.

    The other 10%… Well, own that and fix your mistake.

    But a very large majority of the time, it’s them being broken and wrong.

    • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Figuring out abusive relationships for me was hard because I knew friends with good intentions, and gave valid criticism but were absolutely brutal about it.

      Now I very rarely associate with very insecure people. They are always looking to “prove” themselves, often by putting others down.

      They can’t just accept someone’s accomplishment, they have to go “well actually you got help from so and so…” And always try to undermine your achievements. Extremely mentally exhausting people.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      For me it’s been rough accepting that I’m absolute bpd bait. I struggle to hold boundaries and am happy to help people in need. Add in a trusting nature and yeah I’m still learning how not to get abused.