While 100% in the don’t fake it camp, please also remember us men are not mind readers and our equipment works different. Much like with cooking and cleaning, if you don’t tell us what we are doing wrong or better yet show us the right way, we are going to assume we did our part cause we got the result we wanted and you didn’t complain or ask for something different.
Also a woman’s ability to cum varies HIGHLY from person to person.
I’d say day to day as well, depending on many factors (stress, energy level, hormones, etc.)
Just communicate and see what’s working or not, or if anything works at all. It will make the sex better for everyone involved.
I’ve noticed a pretty direct correlation with a woman’s habit of masturbating and her ability to orgasm during sex. The chick I was seeing just before I went back to college, I’d believe it if you told me that I’ve played with her clit more than she ever has TO THIS DAY, and guess what? She never once gave me any suggestion on what she wanted me to do, I’m sure because she genuinely didn’t know.
Funnily enough, your wife said the same thing.
Funnily enough, this is the case for men too. Hence all the “this has never happened to me before” memes on TV shows in the 90s and 00s.
Yes! Also, tell your male friends to communicate and actively ask what feels good!
Edit: Also
Yes! This does wonders!
What I happened to notice with different girls as a guy is that for many, of not most, telling/showing the right way is a turn-off and having something the right way without showing first is a source of tremendous excitement.
With that said, we, men, are still not mind readers, and women really do have it very differently, so some common sex education, while useful, can only cover the basics, and even they are not universally applicable.
telling/showing the right way is a turn-off
I don’t think OP is talking about a PowerPoint presentation (unless that’s your kink, you do you), but more like some verbal cues “faster” “don’t stop” “a little lower” etc. If the guy has a reasonable amount of attentiveness and experience, he should be able to get her 80% of the way there. Also, little cues like that can be hot as well because we know she’s into it and stuff.
I dunno man, most women in my experience have all really appreciated (and as much said out loud) that there was communication. Sure, if it happens without any prompting or guidance, it’s mind blowing because it feels like there’s something naturally special going on, but that’s a pretty rare thing. Sexual compatibility can be tweaked and guided, for sure, but then again there are also people who just don’t have it together.
There are also just toxic people that want perfection with zero work. But that’s not how shit works, even if they can be a vocal group
Fake orgasm is very counter-productive, even when it’s used as a feeling preservibg way of saying “I’m tired and bored, let’s just finish you off and go back to watching tv”
Yeah, please. Why be deceptive? It serves no one.
Better yet, take responsibility for your own pleasure. Play an active role in getting what you want out of the act. Communicate. Why wouldn’t you?
I’ve heard from a lot of women that a portion of men take any attempt to provide suggestions as a direct attack on their masculinity
Well that’s just two reasons not to date them since those guys all probably listen to Tate.
Not just men, I’m a lesbian and I’ve experienced this with women too. Some people are really sensitive to constructive criticism especially during intimacy.
especially during intimacy.
Well that does make sense when you think about it. That’s when you’re at your most vulnerable. I personally wouldn’t mind because lust overpowers all of my other emotions during sex lmao. Though for some people, I think it would be best to talk about it after the deed is done.
Yup that’s definitely why. And a lot of people other than the hyper sexual have a lot of insecurities around sex even if they didn’t grow up in a culture that made it taboo.
This happens when providing suggestions to anyone about anything when you’re dealing with an insecure person.
Or you could teach him. Better for both of you.
Right? My immediate thought was just that is is awful communication and everyone would have a better time if they just said something in either scenario
Not everyone has the patience for that
Edit: this reaction has me weak as hell 😂🤣
If you aren’t willing to learn and grow with your partner you should stick to masturbating
Oh and that is fine but then you have to ask yourself if you want to have a partnership with bad sex. If not, break up, or “teach” by communicating what you want, what is good and what is bad. There is no alternative, accept bad sex, break up, teach.
(Technically, you could let them have sex outside of the partnership to study, but… Well, not my cup of tea)
Skill issue
> Lies there like a dead fish
> Barely participates
> Expects pleasure beyond wildest dreams
> “Why are men so bad at sex?”Mom?
Dad?
Dr Scott?
Janet?
Brad‽‽
Rocky!
Mr. Krabs
Bing Hi there!
Hey girrrrl?!
☝️ Not a girl.
WAIT
Have you tried giving instructions? My experience is everyone is different and some people need to be told what to do. Is that a fit for you? Maybe not then move on.
“move your arse… faster… faster… Now put your hand on your tits…”
This but unironically.
Any female lucky enough to end up in bed passed out from pleasure, so can’t say I’ve ever had this problem.
(for the daft: obviously I’m not being serious)
Can you rewrite what you said but this time use English?
You’re an average USAmerican, aren’t you?
Pretty sure calling women “females” is given the side eye in every English dialect.
Males, females. What’s wrong with that?
It’s dehumanizing.
It is called USian. Often, but not always, goes with a red hat and multiple flags.
I feel like as.a.woman I.have to.point out that, many times, a woman orgasming or not is not.your fuck’s fault.
I would also.like to point out that it is harder to orgasm in “normal” sex than is it with oral, so.if your girl didn’t orgasm don’t take it personally, pull your pants up and go down on her
I believe your comment is suffering from irregular periods.
It might be low on iron, or overtraining
Or they have the same issue as me, their phone keyboard randomly inserting periods all the time. I manually remove them most of the time, but when I’m agitated, I sometimes can’t be bothered.
This happens with several apps, e. g. https://www.reddit.com/r/Swiftkey/comments/wylng4/random_periods/
I didn’t particularly want to link to reddit, but I wasn’t able to quickly find e. g. an issue tracker.
I use and recommend HeliBoard. It’s foss, it’s customizable, it’s privacy conscious and, other than weird ideas about capitalization sometimes, it’s working flawlessly in two languages simultaneously for me ❤️
Bilingual HeliBoard users rise up!
Does it do swipe and how well? Github says a blob library is needed for that. Can’t be bothered with typing individual letters anymore on mobile
Glide typing (only with closed source library ☹️)
- library not included in the app, as there is no compatible open source library available
- can be extracted from GApps packages (“swypelibs”), or downloaded here (click on the file and then “raw” or the tiny download button)
Haven’t tried it yet. GitHub does say it is possible by downloading the library.
It would also help if these dumb fucking developers wouldn’t put the period right next to the god damn space bar. That might solve a problem or two but noooooooooope it’s gotta be right next to the space bar.
The phone adds it auto and I never had the patience to go change it lol. My family is also very annoyed by it
Please think of your family haha: https://www.wikihow.com/Enable-the-Double-Tap-Period-Shortcut-on-an-iPhone Or https://www.techbone.net/android/user-manual/double-space-full-stop
If you use a different keyboard, then you’re on your own.
Or just don’t double tap space!
I understand you are a woman but you really need to get control of your periods here.
Oh my god…
There’s also women who can not orgasm by in-and-out movements (like: the act of fucking) and it just hurts them after a while. Had to find that out the hard way.
I think people would be really surprised at the wide variety of shapes for women insides. Some shapes just don’t get rubbed the same way.
Positions and angles of attack can matter. Something that feels good for one girl does nothing for or hurts another. And it’s not necessarily a matter of “I like this position” because it’s about how your two bodies interact. It’s very possible you both like different things. I had a girlfriend fairly early on where we pretty quickly realized I liked this and she liked that, and we’d take turns doing the other’s favorite. Dynamics of sexual relationships became a lot less adult after high school.
Or, first ask for directions, go down and stay down, keep listening and doing exactly what she says, until she gets there first. THEN bring your dick to the party. For many of us the second and successive orgasms are much quicker and easier to achieve, even from penetrative sex.
This is the way. First, second, third base and home.
Although doesn’t have to be every time. Can skip bases, go backwards, etc.
Agree. Let me add that some women don’t orgasm at all or do orgasm and don’t like it - yes, the world is a diverse place.
Communication is key in any relationship.
I dumped a woman when she told me she faked her orgasms. Good sex requires honesty, trust, and communication. It’s impossible to get better when either person is being dishonest.
Good, fuck her. Or not fuck her in this case. I’ve dated two or three guys that had honesty issues, and the relationship crumbled very quickly after I figured it out. Without trust there’s no respect, no cooperation, no kindness.
Most men are a lot more receptive to input than many women give us credit for. For the mist part, men do not want to be known as a terrible lay. If your man doesn’t think he needs pointers, get someone else to treat you right.
The problem is that the exceptions can actually be dangerous
People need to spread the word about good, safe partners better.
But jealousy exists, so everyone else has to gamble with their lives for a date/orgasm.
Wait, we’re supposed to be involving mist? Women just get more and more complicated…
Some guys think of sex like a video game I’m sure XD
I’m now picturing those 80s games where you had to hit the keys rapidly (and in the correct sequence) to make your character run, but with pelvic thrusts…
Or rather: don’t fake orgasms, make sure he knows if there’s something he can do better.
Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better, especially at doing the things YOU specifically like.
If he can’t roll with that, though, kick his ass to the curb. Maybe point and laugh at his weird penis first 😛
Was with you until you thought pointing and laughing would help make someone see the light
With you in principle and updooted you, but:
That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?
I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do. There’s no reason to be hostile about it.
I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn
I mean technically being selfish isn’t illegal… Still better for everyone if they aren’t, though 🤷
If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them.
Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you’re done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.
Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do.
Unlike the OP, I’m advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That’s not pushing. That’s nudging at most.
There’s no reason to be hostile about it.
If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they’re already a champion, is hostile behavior, that’s a YOU problem…
Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.
Laughing at someone is hostile
As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn’t mean it. I don’t endorse body shaming, even if someone’s a selfish lover lol
Parting ways amicably is much better.
Yeah, obviously.
I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed
Nobody’s suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?
Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner.
Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.
People have different tastes in sexual stuff.
You don’t say?
It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences
Of course. That’s what I’m advocating for.
It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.
Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of “X isn’t really working for me, could you try Y?” or “I really like X, is that something you’re into?”, NOT “do X or get out!”
So are we actually on the same page? It seems we agree with each other, which is nice.
How to admit you are shit in bed and you are not arsed enough to work on yourself.
Is it being shit in bed if you don’t push your partner to do stuff they don’t feel like doing? Is a partner shit in bed if they feel uncomfortable with some stuff? Are there mandatory ways to make love and to enjoy sex?
Ask your wife. Or her lover.
I am the wife.
Nah, I just wanted to make sure it was obvious to others that part was a joke. I updooted you in a comment you made lower in the comments. I figured you were a person with good intent making a comment involving passion. Something I direly need to learn from. Controlling my responses hasn’t always been great. As for the Catholics, I can’t speak much of anything about them I suppose anymore. I left their following more than 20 years ago now, and I hope they grow better as I don’t think they are going to disappear any time soon. I also need to give up drinking, but for sake of words, I say let’s drink to a better future.
I quit drinking myself 5 years ago as of last month, but since I have some good nonalcoholic beer right here, I’ll drink to all of that! 🍻
Well let’s hope it’s a chase I stay 5 years behind you until our end days. : )
If he can’t do it, flip him over and do it yourself.
Constrictive criticism
Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉
Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.
Freudian slip? But hey if that’s what you’re into then good for you 😉
Actually a happy autocomplete accident, but yeah, gonna leave it as is because you made it fun 😄
Otherwise? Yeah, come on, don’t settle for shit sex, if you can teach your partner to be better then why not? Don’t be too afraid to say something.
Good advice!
Also, good save on the quality shitposting by including the body shaming.
Yeah, there was a distinct danger of being too wholesome and helpful for a shitpost community for sure! 😄
Constrictive criticism and pointers is how we get better
I know the tone of this is supposed to be “haha you suck” but if you fake it then you’re only going to make the guy keep doing the thing that didn’t work. Help them learn how to be better because they can’t feel what you’re feeling.
I don’t like the overall message society gives that men need to be “good at sex” instead of people mutually enjoying the experience.
To me it’s akin to someone calling you boring to talk with, while they contribute nothing to the conversation other than showing up.
they can’t feel what you’re feeling.
Well, the fun part is, if you’re doing it right, you absolutely can… But if it’s never happened before, you don’t know what you’re missing.
I mean in the literal sense.
How is he supposed to get better if you don’t give feedback?
Exactly. Leave a one star review for his address on Google Maps or something.
I bet that used to be possible until they got a lot of complaints 😁
I think nowadays they just use Facebook groups to shame men they don’t like. Are We Dating the Same Guy is the usual name for them.
I don’t give a damn if the hooker orgasms or not. I just want to bust a nut and dance with the hooker dressed up to look like my mom.
More like
Fake orgasms and just pee on him to secretly assert dominance
Dominance? I’d be ready for three more rounds immediately.
Please don’t pee on your partner without consent.
This is America and in free to pee on whoever I want to! /s
No sex without the presence of our notary dear.
"Honey, come back to bed’
“One sec dear, I have to scan your consent form”
I’m lucky my wife orgasms easily from PIV makes me feel like a champ but really it’s just her body that makes it happen.
deleted by creator
Here’s the psychic cure, actually fake orgasms don’t exist, they are all real. If she tells you she faked it, it means she’s lying to you, and now she’s just trying to hurt you, probably because you didn’t do the dishes last night.
There, the whole fake orgasm thing, solved forever.
PIV (Pontoon Implantment Vehicle)
I’m in the “multiple orgasm” camp but it has happened a couple times where I’m not really in the mood (stress etc) or the sex has gone on too long (chafing, boredom) where there’s not a specific thing my husband should start or stop doing long term and I don’t want to impact his experience. It’s only been like 3 or 4 times in the last 15 years.
I feel badly for the lots of men that believe their life is to please women.
this group includes me
