followed with ‘I wasn’t aware is so important to you. I didn’t want to insult you and if you felt so, I apologize. The word fuck is one I use very often, but I’ll try to control myself around you’

Note I didn’t insult the coworker (no fuck you or fuck off), but simply said ‘fuck’ out loud due to a job error.

  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    41 minutes ago

    is it an office. if so the apology should be more about your behavior in a professional setting not just around one person. If its blue collar it might apply if members of the public are around.

  • Today@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    You don’t have to say anything, just change the behavior around them. If you’re required to apologize, “I’m sorry. I’ll work on that.” should suffice

  • taiyang@lemmy.world
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    42 minutes ago

    You’ve got way more patience than me. Just yesterday my own grandma was offended by my use of fuck randomly and I ended up defending myself instead of apologizing (she likes Tim Walz so I said the guy called Musk a dipshit and somehow that got me out of hot water lol). I don’t think I’d even have that much tact with a coworker.

  • horse_battery_staple@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    I work in a very large tech company. I curse like a fucking sailor around some people and use my church voice around others. Expletives lose their punch when used too often.

    I wouldn’t apologize or bring it up further. The time for an apology about language spoken in the heat of the moment is as soon after as possible.

    The best apology is a change in behavior.

    Good luck navigating this, you can see how contentious a topic it is by the comments in this thread. But it boils down to know your audience, and believe people when they tell you they have a problem.

    • lobut@lemmy.ca
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      1 hour ago

      I remember working in the London UK office and we curse non-stop over there it’s great. Whenever our colleagues from SF would visit they would always be surprised how much we swear. I’d see them do the turnaround like, ‘what just happened?’.

  • ChowJeeBai@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Dunno. I’d expect grown ass adults to be able to put their personal feelings aside for the sake of professional obligations. If your coworker is gonna get upset at everything, he’s not in for a very good time.

    • Stiffneckedppl@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      I agree with the sentiment, but if we’re going to make that argument based around professionalism, I would also have to argue that it’s not very professional to use that kind of language in a work setting.

      So maybe this is a situation where both sides can grow.

      • snooggums@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        it’s not very professional to use that kind of language in a work setting.

        That depends massively on the profession, setting, and context.

        Restaurant kitchen where something gets spilled, a trade where something unexpectedly breaks, a couple lawyers without anyone else around finding out their client is on camera admitting to the crime, etc. are all fine to say a calm ‘oh fuck’ as a reaction. Someone in an open office who yelled it because their code didn’t compile would not be acting very professional.

      • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        Than replacement words shouldn’t be acceptable either, you can either express your frustration or you can’t. A choose of word shouldn’t make a difference, it should be unprofessional to make an outburst at all if that’s the case.

  • jet@hackertalks.com
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    4 hours ago

    Don’t add the while your around bit.

    I’m going to work on improving my language, and I’ll be mindful going forward, it’s a very deep habit, so please bear with me.

    • credo@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      Also, don’t say, “I wasn’t aware it was so important to you.” That’s definitely a trigger phrase.

      Try, “Thank you for letting me know this is important for you,” (or “how you feel”) instead.

  • Jerb322@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    My neighbor passed away and a new family moved in. Talking with dad, I noticed he didn’t swear much. I said a handful of curse words the first few times we talked. I noticed he was a little put off. So I just made a conscious effort to not curse around him. Never apologized, just tried not to. Pretty sure he’s noticed and appreciates it.

  • breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    Comes across as a snide non-apology to me. Regardless of whether an apology or whatever is warranted, the phrasing here sounds nothing like an apology if that’s what you’re going for

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.place
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    4 hours ago

    I would censor the work f–k because it might come off like you’re being passive aggressive and aren’t really trying. Reminds of the time the actor that played Burke on Grey’s Anatomy called the actor that played George a fa—t, then made a public apology saying he’s sorry he called him a fa—t and that he wont say fa—t again, except he said the word. People got even more pissed, and I think he was fired from the show. 🤦

    I previously made a comment on how I’ve learned to apologize if you’re interested.

  • Ziggurat@sh.itjust.works
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    3 hours ago

    I wouldn’t wory too much about that coworker, if they can’t handle something as banal as fuck, it’s their problem, not yours

    • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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      Lol, you’re funny.

      Go say “fuck” while standing in front of a judge. It’s banal, so it’s his problem, right?

      Until he fines you for contempt of court. Or jails you for continuing to say fuck after being warned.

      Society as a whole is a judge. If you refuse to try to get along with the rest of society, it may decide to not get along with you.

    • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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      Until it’s escalated, and then it’s definitely OPs problem. Most jobs have something about professionalism written is their handbook. The coworker will win that fight with hr every time.

      • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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        Than they can fight that any outburst is unprofessional and they are being harassed for what other coworkers are doing.

        Fuck Shit Damn Shoot Darn

        No difference, zero, but personal offense for arbitrary reasons.

        • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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          59 minutes ago

          True in theory, but in practice, those are pretty much universally accepted curse words. I personally swear all of the time when I know the audience I’m around, and hear people swearing from across my office, so culturally it’s not a thing where I work or especially my previous manufacturing job. In places that have outside customers or patients, the expectation is generally different and varying levels of masking those outbursts is required, sometimes even saying things like "crap"is too much.

          • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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            50 minutes ago

            It’s part of my religion, are you trying to suppress my religious rights?

            Or something like that, there’s always an angle to play if someone wants to be petty or want to exert their “power” over their coworkers.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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    3 hours ago

    “I’ll try and be more professional in the future.”

    This way you’re not judging them or yourself, you’re saying you understand that there’s a code of behavior the bosses expect everyone to follow.

  • Elaine@lemm.ee
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    I worked with someone like that who got their jimmies tussled by cursing. I said sorry in the moment they voiced their feelings and avoided them after that. I didn’t change how I talk or come up with a huge apology.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    The correct reply is “I don’t see what the big fucking deal is.” Some motherfuckers will never be happy, so just ignore them and do your own thing.