Context, I’m 30 now and i will find women my age and up attractive, but 15 years ago a 35 year old women would never have been attractive to me.
As I’ve aged younger women are less and less attractive (thankfully)
But when I’m 60 will 60 year old women be attractive to me?
It’s personal preference, but basically edge limits that increase over time, like at 15 you’re looking at ±6 months, at 20 it might be + or - 1 or 2 years. At 30 you’re probably at looking at 5 years either side of 30.
Once you hit 500 the attraction window is so large it becomes mostly irrelevant, and you’re judging more on aristocrical lineage and/or aristocrical diet.
It’s only a few more years til 1000 (which usually turns out to be a very dull party with no surprise guests) and by that point you’re lucky to find anyone attractive.
There’s obviously the old ‘hurr durr he’s over 2000 so he must be gay now’ stereotype, but as far as I can tell, attraction isn’t cyclical.
Hope that helps!
We’re generally talking humans here, not Time Lords.
Makes it weird that the Doctor generally travels with people 1-2% of his age. Bloody cradle snatcher!
They are kind of stuck. They have to find companions who don’t have children or responsibilities. The best majority of the people who land in those categories are younger folks.
Pfft speak for yourself
Im 6 million years old now, and im attracted to literal planets.
I remember at 2000 the hur due jokes. But honestly everyone’s giblets are so shriveled at that age (unless enhanced through mummification etc) that gender becomes irrelevant. Kind of comes down to who has the best stories at that point.
Wait till you’re a billion years old, I’m exclusively attracted to supermassive black holes now…
It’s hard not to be gravitationally attracted to them.
The problem is that they don’t get hints at all… they are too dense.
I too like them thicc af.
Wow, how old are you ( if you don’t mind me asking)?
Do you want to know how old I am, or which aristocrats I’ve eaten 😘
Can I come to your party,? Maybe drink some of your blood? Idk #justsillythings?
Thanks for chiming in Laszlo.
Cool to see the edge cases for Elves and Vampires. What would be practical limits for humans?
Be really careful, I couldn’t tell which one exactly from your post, but as time goes on, you’re going to have to watch out either for people trying to drive a wooden stake through your heart, or chop your head off with a sword to steal your power. Just wanted to toss out a helpful FYI.
That first paragraph…z then you really took off. lol
You might like this one too where I gave an explanation on what happens at parties:
On the other side, as someone younger it’s hard to date people much older, as they start casually talking about what they did during various wars, or comparing the COVID pandemic to the black plague, and I’ve just got zero frame of reference to connect.
Everyone much older I’ve met has been just delightful (I assume the rude ones eventually get murdered by their local townsfolk) but it’s just so hard to make that genuine connection when your life experiences are so different, you know?
Looking forward to catching up with you at the Over 2800s party next week!
As soon as I saw this post I jumped on xkcd. Glad I checked the comments before replying, or I would have made quite the fool of myself.
Alt text:
The full analysis is of course much more complicated, but I can’t stay to talk about it because I have a date.
Since turning 30 I’ve been thinking about the half-your-age-plus-seven rule a lot more. It would feel creepy as fuck to date a 22 year old. Is this all in my head? It feels predatory to swipe right on anyone younger than 25
I’m about to turn 40, and 27 has proven to be too young for me. The folks I’ve had the most success with have been 30+.
At 30, I’d think 25+ is the spot to be in.
LOL
You realize that that “rule” is based on absolutely nothing, right? It’s just arbitrary nonsense that people who are terrified of disorder impose on themselves because rules give them a pleasant secure feeling even when the rule ridiculous :-D
‘creepy’ is a feeling. and like all feelings it is entirely in the eye of the beholder. ‘predatory’ is stupid fear-mongering bullshit. Certain TV personalities made tons of money scaring the fuck out of parents, and they did it by using the vivid violent imagery of vacuous metaphors like ‘predator’
People in their 20s are perfectly capable adults. They are not harmed by consensual sex with people older than them. There is not a shred of evidence that folks over 30 are somehow dangerous or have magic brainwashing powers that they use for evil :-D
So, yes, it’s all in your head. Your culture has taught you to fear something that is 100% harmless on every level.
As a 37 year old 27+ seems reasonable to me, but it would be a lot more of a “maybe”
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In Hollywood, the rule is half your age MINUS seven.
I feel like there is a window that moves with you as you age. At 47 I find women attractive up to their early 50s, and down into their 30s.
I mean dating attractive here. I’m not going to try and claim that a hot twenty something on the telly does nothing for me
I’m 55 I find young women very attractive but I wouldn’t have sex with them. Sex changes as you get older. It slows down and it’s more psychological than physical.
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Good thing that won’t be an issue.
Lemmy user learns of hypotheticals
Do you know what jokes and twenty year old pussy has in common?
You’ll never get them.
My wife is in her 20s. Should be enough of a setup for a real boomer ass joke there.
It seems to me you’re just confirming you’re not getting 20 year old pussy.
I absolutely would, or my wife would be very annoyed with me.
Also I’d have a stern talk with said 20- something as (s)he’d have no business in my bed in the first place.
I was starting to question myself here lol everyone acting like a hot 20 year old is no longer hot when you’re older meanwhile I see someone I consider attractive they’re always attractive, I just won’t approach them if they’re young.
The only way this doesn’t work is “upward” for me. 40s weren’t attractive when I was younger but they are now, but a hot 20 year old will always be hot to me (I think).
@TIN this is what I think happens too.
One of the men I’ve most respected and most trusted in my life told me once (at the time a teenager) that when he was in his 20s, women in their 20s were so hot and seeing a barely clothed young woman was so hot. But he said that now that he was in his 40s, women in his 40s were so hot and whenever he looked at a woman in her 20s all he could think of was that she could be his daughter and that he just felt protective and there was nothing hot or attractive about her.
I’m a woman, but when I was in my teens and early 20s guys in their teens and early 20s seemed so attractive and anyone older was not it. Now that I’m in my early 30s I’m so attracted to men in their 30s and I look at teens and guys in their early 20s and they just seem like babies to me. I actually deal with a lot of young guys with my work and they’re all cool people and I love talking to them, but dating them? Ugh, no thank you. They were in elementary school (or younger) when I was graduating high school. So yeah, I think for a lot of people your goalposts move as you move, and that’s not a bad thing. I also am curious as to whether I’ll someday find 60 or 70 year old men hot, but I’ve got a long ways to go.
I’m 30 now and i will find women my age and up attractive, but 15 years ago a 35 year old women would never have been attractive to me.
Lmao when I was 15 I was spanking the monkey to MILF porn. Thank you Deauxma and Nina Hartley.
Yeah but in the porn world, a MILF is just a 22 year old.
That’s what I hear happens. I’m sure the effect must stop working at some point, but so far I’m cruising.
Yeah i appreciate that women my age stay attractive.
I wonder what is the driving factor though.
Familiarity with the look, perhaps.
I think it’s rather similar level of maturity and points of interest. Like I may find college students physically attractive, but there’s quite a maturity gap between students and people who have been working full time for a couple of years that can be off-putting to me.
Self-conditioning.
You like people you can have a meaningful interactions with, you are more likely to find sexual partners in that group, you fantasize about current or prospective partners, you end up building an attractiveness pattern that matches a certain age group.
Got to be an interaction with our wiring and social constructs. We’re mainly wired to get along with our tribe, after all. Makes sense for sexual preferences to naturally hew to social mores.
“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Consider that “attractive” won’t always be skewed so heavily towards appearance. As I’ve gotten older attitude and personality matters at least as much as physical appearance. When I was 25 I was probably 90/10 (appearance/personality), now (55) I’m probably 40/60.
I’m a lady, not a man. But yes as I have gotten older, my taste has too, I don’t know if that goes on forever but mid-50s and (sorry) 30 year old guys look like people who would be dating my kids, they look like kids to me.
Certainly not MOST 50-60 year old guys look good to me but the ones who do, they sure do. Take care of your body, don’t get fat, do some exercise. You can look good at 30 without care but not 50, not 60.
As the people we relate to change, so too do the things we find attractive in people. This will be a constantly changing thing
Being in my 40s, I am relieved to say that I keep finding women attractive that are my age, and I look at people in their 20s as, well, kids. Even in my porn, I keep looking for women more my age.
That’s true physically, but also emotionally. There is a humbling nearly all decent people seem to go through in their late 20s to 30s that at this point is a necessary point of bonding for me.
So far what I learned, is that many factors play into attraction. Looks are one. A big factor for me is also seeing someone as an equal. Fuck dates are fine with much younger or older ones but dating and a relationship, nop. I want to take the other one serious, I want to be in about the same stage of life experience, to have similar goals and similar pop culture references (tv shows, music, games that we played as kids). Seeing someone as an equal comes with similar age for me.
Similar cultural references criteria would prevent dating someone who grew up in a different culture.
god i wish most men were like this. but there’s 50 yr old men out there dating women fresh out of highschool, yuck
I had the hots for women in their 40s when I was a teenager ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
most hopefully they weren’t irresponsible enough to date a teen, that’d be just as yuck no matter the gender
I understand where you’re coming from, but you’re expressing your taste and values in a very dismissive way
i dont get how calling someone that age dating a teen ‘yuck’ is dismissive lol
That’s not what you said, you don’t get to lecture me by pretending you said something else.
Anything illegal deserves more yuck than I can count, but expressing your personal taste towards things that are legal and socially accepted (while frown upon) by dismissing a behaviour that you personslly disagree with is… dismissive.
huh? it is literally exactly for word what i said, so what are you talking about??
“most hopefully they weren’t irresponsible enough to date a teen, that’d be just as yuck no matter the gender”
also, how am i lecturing you?? i dont even know you or anything about you. you replied to me calling my opinion dismissive and i disagreed, point out the lecturing. and anyway, why is there an issue with how i choose to express my opinion on something controversial, or anything in that matter? you find it dismissive that i think middle aged people dating legal teenagers is gross, okay, why should i care that how i expressed it is apparently dismissive??
They’re both consenting adults, and it’s just sex.
It’s yuck in the same way a teen might say old people (30+ yos) having sex are yuck.
But there’s nothing inherently wrong about it, your views are just judgemental. May also just be a cultural thing to be fair, or as societies attitude towards sex become more open, older views may still just be very conservative.
Oh I was far too awkward to get involved in anything like that, along with its inappropriateness.
OMG. Yuck? as in… disgusting? like sushi?
OP doesn’t mention their gender.
true, i made an assumption. either way, its yuck to date someone fresh out of HS if you’re 10, 20, 30, 40+ years older. imo there’s no reality where an 18 year old should be dating a 30 year old, even though it is legal
I think that if people are of an age where they can legally and ethically consent, and if there isn’t any kind of abuse of power going on, it’s none of my damn business. Maybe people should just fuck off with pushing their ideas about morality on other people.
im not pushing anything on anyone?? this is my opinion and i am allowed to have it, i’m not making any laws. i also agree with the other commenter that there’s no way a relationship between a 30 year old and an 18 year old doesn’t have an unbalanced maturity and power level dynamic. this is my opinion.
Some people are of the opinion that it’s gross and immoral for two men to be romantically or sexually involved.
Some people think that anyone that doesn’t identify with the gender they were born with is mentally ill and should be committed until they’ve come to their senses.
It’s just, like, their opinion, man. Them expressing their opinion frequently, any time they see someone that might be gay or transgender isn’t pushing their opinion, they’re just expressing a belief.
I don’t think you can date an 18 year old as a 30 year old without an automatic abuse of power. Even so, what does that say as the (middle aged) adult?
Take that to the logical conclusion, and no one can date anyone else because there’s always some power imbalance. Oh, you’re on track to graduate with a BS in 4 years? Sorry, it’s unethical to date someone that’s changed their major twice.
Given that I work and my wife does not, oh no!, I have too much power in the relationship because I’m the only one bringing in money!, so she can never consent to anything! Which kinda eliminates her autonomy.
By abuse of power, I mean someone that has a degree of power or authority over another person, such as a supervisor at work, a professor with one of their students, a cop (seriously, no one should ever date a cop, hard stop), a mentor and an intern, and so on. A 30yo that goes to the same gym as a 18yo has no power over that 18yo, and no direct way to coerce them into a relationship.
Wait, 30 is middle aged??
Nah gotta be between 500 and 1500 for middle age
Sure feels like it. I am so tired and my back hurts.
LOL
That’s completely absurd. Age =/= Power :-D
Young women are free to date whoever they want. That is a great thing. Bodily autonomy. It’s something to celebrate.
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All I know is that everybody says retirement homes are full of horny old people fucking all the time so maybe? Either that or old people just don’t care as much about attraction and are just happy all the parts still work
My guess is as an adult you’ll always be attracted to women around the 25-35 range most but maybe once you get old you’ll also find some stuff to appreciate in grannies
They are. I used to work at one and it was not an unusual experience to walk in on residents giving head to each other or fucking.
I wonder if it’s still as enjoyable or exciting as when they were younger.
just turned 40, i can def tell when someone in their 20s is hot, but I’d be really unlikely to date them. But, for example, meeting some rando at a bar and hooking up is different, as long as everyone is on board with the situation and consents. I’ve started finding older women attractive more than I would have when I was younger, it’s just hard to meet people at this age and covid wasted my late 30s doing nothing
its normal. my tastes have changed as I’ve aged. luckily my partner didn’t stay in her 20s either lol
