I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.
So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.
When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.
I’m not sure how to feel tbh
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Only if he gets a boner
Only if they kiss afterwards.
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
I need more friends like you.
Did you even say no homo first?
I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
Washing your asshole… Seriously dudes, wash it anyway
Yeah this is still astonishing to me as a guy. Why is basic hygiene gay?
And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.
Some of yall are nasty.
Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.
Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.
My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.
Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?
Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it’s ok to wear it in the left… Or the other way around. I could never remember which.
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
Use chapstick
Read a book in public
Not go to gym
Play certain more “feminine” games
Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more
Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man’s beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨🍳😘>
According to my dad, considering something as ‘lovely’. Even if it’s the exhaust note of a motorcycle.
Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.
Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.
I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don’t understand it now.
They didn’t either. One idiot started it out of jealousy (i presume) and the rest just parrotted him. People and their group dynamics…
Ok so the whole “the other kids are just jealous” thing is, I think, disengenious.
Sometimes kids just suck. They make fun of other kids for anything. They aren’t necessarily jealous. They might be uncomfortable. They might be vindictive at the time. They might basically be playing “spot the difference” (i.e. that kid dances, my friend doesn’t dance, look that’s different) so they make fun of one side of that equation.
In this case, I feel like the kids probably were not jealous. I feel like they were just idiot kids. Same end result but I don’t know, it seems unhelpful to bullying victims to just tell them that everyone is jealous of them, sadly that’s not usually the case.
Sure, who knows. I just assumed that some boys were very jealous of the rockstar with a whole group of girls 😁 But yeah, kids can also be just idiots. We weren’t there.
And sure it’s not usually the case, and i wouldn’t tell that to any bullied kid. It just screamed jealousy in this particular case.
Spending hours with a bunch of ladies and possibly touching them in intimate locations.
vs
Spending hours with a bunch of guys and possibly touching them in intimate locations. Then showing with them.
Yeah, dance is way gayer.
In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).
As a fellow school child in the ‘90s, I can confirm that almost anything anyone did was gay. Holding hands with a girl? Gay. Liking video games? Gay.
According to the best school playground scientists of the time, opening a packet of crisps upside down (i.e. so the branding/writing is upside down, and you open the bottom of the packet, at the top) actually “made you gay”.
It wasn’t just gay if you did it, but it would literally cause a spontaneous eruption of gayness in whoever did it - who would be permanently gay from that point onwards.
Other way round now. And they have little satchel things too on their chest.
Bizarre times
My dad saw someone with that. Called them gay
Born in the 70s. I’ve been called gay for nearly everything i ever did in the next decades. Didn’t even understand back then why my assumed sexual orientation was something seemingly bad.
I’ve also called someone gay. He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so “aesthetically beautiful” while vajayays where just “disgustingly filthy axe-wounds” 😂 He quit the friendship because i thought he was gay and dared to voice it.
That was sad and the best example of what this stupid world does to people who are just slightly off the “normal” path.
He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so “aesthetically beautiful” while vajayays where just “disgustingly filthy axe-wounds” 😂
Dude was so deep in the closet he was crowned king in Narnia.
Lol. I will borrow that saying 😂
- Wear orange or pink.
- Eat quiche
- Like poetry
- Hang out with girls at recess
- Wear an earring
- Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
It’s a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.
